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  • Writer's pictureSuzanne Morrison-Williams

Self Love - The Key to Happniness!

Updated: Feb 10, 2020

Self-love. What is it? Why is it important? The term emerged from the new age movement at a time when accomplishment and achievement were the hallmarks of success. There was little thought given to the emotional and psychological impact that the drive to achieve could wreak. Being top dog was a typically male concept and so as women entered the corporate landscape, women adopted this male ideology in order to remain competitive. What occurred was a level of personal dissatisfaction alongside seemingly meteoric success in the corporate landscape.

Historically it is during the process of working through a mid-life crisis or after some physical or psychological ailment or illness that some high achievers learn about the importance of the self- love and self-care. Self-love is understand the importance of yourself and treating yourself well. Its understanding that you are your first client and must give yourself good customer service in order to treat others well. This is because you are happy and healthy and project that outwards.

So what is good self-customer service you ask? Well let’s see...

1. Understand your personal value so that you set all your personal expectations on this value and don’t allow others to undervalue you and treat you less than you are worth. 2. Always use positive self-talk to yourself 3. Use affirmations to reinforce positive self-talk. 4. Treat yourself well. 5. Compliment yourself when you’ve done well on a task or project.

Self-love is not narcissism. It’s not thinking you are more important. Its understanding that you are not less. Self-love is the understanding that taking care of yourself gives you the opportunity to help others. It’s just like the safety demo on the plane which tells you to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before helping others

Some ways to actively practice self-love are.

1. Know your values and live them. 2. Know your dreams, build towards them and then follow and achieve them. 3. Take care of your physical health by eating well, regular check-ups, exercise and get enough sleep. 4. Take care of your emotional health by avoiding unnecessary negativity. 5. Take care of your psychological health by seeking help if and when needed knowing that there is no shame. Your psyche is as important a muscle as your heart.

Self-love can take a number of different forms depending on which aspect you are working on. If you are working on living your values, that might involve taking a class, volunteering, spending time with family, travelling or building your business. You are in the driver’s seat of your values and reinforcing them. The same is true of your dreams. Every day do something to get your further to your dream whatever it may be.

Being physically healthy is critical and it is our job to keep our bodies as healthy as we can. Our bodies are machines which require hood fuel and regular tune-ups. So we should eat in healthy moderation (but enjoy it because who wants to be in constant deprivation) food that is both healthy and delicious. And when possible share that with others, because sharing meals with others builds our social connectivity. We are social beings and need social situations to remain physically and socially healthy.

Remember to get good rest and sleep too. We have to rest and recuperate to live those dreams and values. A good exercise regimen helps with that. And just a good brisk walk 3 times a week helps with that. Listen to music, listen to a webinar, podcast or audiobook. Fulfill 2 self-love things at the same time. This personal time helps ground you in positivity to counteract the many negative persons and encounters out there. You will have tools and techniques to avoid, navigate or sometimes change the trajectory to a positive one.

Finally taking care of your mental and emotional health no longer has a negative stigma. Companies provide for it as part of routine health and you have a wide variety of ways to seek out and participate in activities that keep you in peak psychological health. Many people use therapists not just to help manage major life events (death, divorce, illness, loss, grief, family issues, job issues, stress) but also just as a regular way to manage routine life challenges. Sometimes they use a health professional and other times they engage with a life coach.

The key point is knowing and understanding your importance and making sure that you take care of all the aspects of yourself so that you are happy, fulfilled, in balance and #livingyourbestlife.

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